Nora has tags on toys. Tags are the coolest.
And yummiest.
After my last post, did y’all think the story was over?
*I* thought the story was over. Or, I was trying really hard to believe that it was. I convinced myself that the spider MUST have exited the car the same way it came in, because every time I got in there, it was nowhere to be found. Because, trust me, I checked. Being the paranoid freak that I am, I’ve been quickly canvasing the car before I enter it.
No signs of Mr. Spider.
Well, I shouldn’t say NO signs. Because, well… there kind of were. When I got into my car yesterday morning, the sun was shining brightly, and I could see cob webs on my dashboard. Pretty disconcerting, but I figured Mr. Spider could’ve easily planted those before I spotted him on Wednesday morning. The weather on Wednesday was overcast and dark, so cob webs wouldn’t have been as easily visible. I kept trying to convince myself that they were old cob webs, but a little nagging feeling kept saying, “But what if they’re new??”
Then, last night, I got into my car to drive home and I saw some small cob webs on my driver side door. I’ll admit again to being a bit freaked out about it, but again I thought, “They could’ve been there all along. I just didn’t see them before.” I cleared out all of the cob webs before exiting my car for the evening, knowing that if I saw cob webs in the morning, they would be fresh ones.
This morning, I did my usual inspection of the roof, the dashboard, and my seat before getting into the car. When I pulled out of the garage and into the bright sunshine, I took a quick look at my dashboard and driver side door, and didn’t notice any new cob webs. I let my guard down a little, relaxing a bit… although I’ve never been 100% comfortable in my car since the incident on Wednesday morning.
As I got to the end of my street, the sun was shining directly into my face, so I reached up, pulled down my sun visor and…
OH MY GOD HELP ME I WAS STARING AT THE BIG BLACK DISGUSTING SPIDER, ONLY SIX INCHES FROM MY FACE.
That little bastard was clinging to the sun visor. And–AND!!!–had clearly been living in my car for the past two days. I will pause for a moment while the shivers travel down your spines. Because, EWWWWW.
Anyway, you better believe I immediately hit the brakes, threw the car into park, and got my ass out of there. I even left my poor, defenseless baby in the back seat, but she was happily chilling out and didn’t know about the killer spider in the front seat and frankly, hasn’t had an opportunity or the life experience to develop a fear of spiders yet so it doesn’t make me a bad mom, right? Right. *deep breath*
As I stood beside the car, with the driver door open, I started to come up with a plan to rid myself of this spider, once and for all. Tissues? No. NO, because then I would actually have to get close enough to TOUCH the thing. Shoe? No, because then I would have to smash it and it would either scamper away or fall onto my steering wheel or seat. NO. I opened the door to the back seat and spotted my snow brush. Michael had actually questioned why I hadn’t used my snow brush to kill it on Wednesday morning, but at that time, my snow brush had been in my trunk, so–out of sight, out of mind. But now it was in my back seat and it was the perfect solution because it has a long handle and I did not need to get closer than a few feet from that nasty, big, black, disgusting spider.
I took one swipe at the spider to attempt to “sweep” it right out onto the ground but really only managed to knock him off of the visor. To my horror, he was now HANGING by his disgusting little web. After taking a deep breath, I held the snow brush out and let him crawl onto it, and once he was on it, I whipped the snow brush around and flung that bastard onto the pavement.
THE SPIDER WAS OFFICIALLY EVICTED FROM MY CAR.
Mission accomplished, but I found afterward that I was seriously trembling! My knees were shaking, people. I am such a freakin’ wuss. I’m actually ashamed of myself.
I wish I could tell you that I can now ride in comfort, but I’m still a little freaked out by the whole thing. It’s going to take some time to get over the trauma.
And I sure as hell hope he didn’t leave behind any friends or babies.
This morning was a normal morning. I left the house, dropped Nora off at daycare, and was making my merry way to work. (Well, I was as merry as one can be when heading into a full day of work on a Wednesday morning. You know.)
I was about three quarters of a mile from my office when, out of nowhere, something moving across my dashboard caught my eye.
It was a big, BLACK, disgusting SPIDER.
OK, so it wasn’t so much big as it was disgusting. Totally disgusting. But, despite its overall petite size, it was… thick. Crunchy, if you will. It had a thick black body and thick black legs. In other words, it wasn’t your normal, everyday, wimpy ol’ spider.
As it walked across my dashboard, coming uncomfortably close to me and then moving back toward the windshield (repeatedly. The thing did this multiple times, as if to taunt me), I tried my best to keep my eyes on the road. I was very close to work, so my main goal was just to get myself in the parking lot without hitting anyone or anything.
Meanwhile, I literally started shaking from the heebie jeebies. That’s how gross this thing was… it gave me goosebumps. And, while I fully admit to being a huge baby when it comes to dealing with insects, I’m not usually THAT big of a baby. This thing was just particularly nasty; it was like a miniature version of a tarantula!
Upon throwing my car into park, I quickly shut off the engine and jumped out of my car, keeping my eyes on the spider at all times. I frantically searched my car for something, ANYTHING with which I could squash this thing. Finding nothing appropriate, I started scanning the parking lot. Not for tools of death, but for MEN. I just needed A MAN. Any man from my office would do. However, as luck would have it, the parking lot was completely void of human life.
MOTHER EFFER.
By this time, the spider had curled into a little ball of ewww and seemed to be hibernating in the tiny corner between my dashboard and windshield. After observing him for what seemed like a couple of minutes and seeing no movement, I made the decision to run into my office for reinforcements.
My teammate (and cubicle neighbor) was my chosen rescuer. Poor guy. He was a good sport and, after grabbing half a roll of paper towels from the kitchen, immediately put on his coat and followed me out into the snow to take care of the situation.
Imagine my horror when we arrived at my car to find that THE SPIDER WAS GONE.
OHHH.EM.GEEEE.
That little bastard was nowhere to be found.
So, the bottom line: That disgusting creature lives to see another day, and me? Well, I’m pretty sure I will never be able to drive my car again. Never ever.
*shudder*
Nora may have the position down, but she better not be planning on jumping out of planes any time soon. Or, you know, EVER.
I have been blogging at Blogger for almost four years, and well… change is hard, y’all.
Still, I am seriously contemplating making the leap from Blogger to WordPress. There are a few reasons, but the biggest one is the comment system. I freaking HATE the Blogger comment system. I know there are options to add a comment plug-in (like Disqus), but I’m not 100% in love with those options.
Meanwhile, I am in the beginning stages of a blog redesign (to be done by a professional this time; I can’t commit the time needed in order to do it!), so if I am going to make the jump, now is the time to do it.
Has anyone made the move before? If so, are you glad you did it?
Does anyone have any good reasons NOT to do it?
About
I'm Heather. I'm 33 and have been married to Michael for seven years. Together, we have two beautiful little girls we love more than anything, and a miniature dachshund who drives us crazy. I'm a full-time working mom who has very little time for my own "stuff" these days, like home improvement, cooking/baking, cake decorating, and photography. Despite the team not making the playoffs since 1999, I'm STILL a Buffalo Bills fan, which I think speaks to my loyalty AND sense of humor. I can't wait to pick up the pace with travel again some day... you know, when we're done being ruled by tiny fists. Welcome to my blog.
