Sugar Mama

I’ve had a lot of pregnant women around me throughout my life. My cousins have several children among them. For seven years during high school/college, I worked in a pharmacy with mostly women, so I went through a lot of pregnancies with them, too. After college, friends started getting married and having babies. So, more pregnancies.

It probably goes without saying, then, that I’ve heard plenty of things about the glucose tolerance test. I thought I was pretty well educated about the process of the test, as well as the purpose of it.

I’ve heard that the glucose drink is gross. So when we had my last appointment with my doctor and she mentioned how I’d have to take the test before my next appointment, I asked her if she had any recommendations for which flavor to choose (I was offered fruit punch, orange, lemon, or lime). Her response was, “Blecchh, I don’t know. They’re all disgusting. I had fruit punch with one of my pregnancies and orange with the other, and I thought they were both nearly impossible to choke down.”

I thought to myself, Greeeeat. But at the same time, I couldn’t understand what the big deal was. Even if it’s disgusting, it would undoubtedly go down pretty quickly. I mean, it’s just a shot of sugar liquid, right?

And then I went to the front desk, where the woman handed me the actual drink. My mouth fell open.

TEN OUNCES, folks. It’s a BOTTLE of sugar liquid. All this time, I had been preparing myself for a nasty SHOT (like an ounce or two), and they hand me a BOTTLE.

Ick. Ick. Ick.

Since I had to wait until between 26-28 weeks of pregnancy to complete the test, I gladly went home and shoved the bottle into my refrigerator. Procrastination is awesome. But every time I opened the fridge, there it was, staring me in the face. Mocking me.

I’ll be 28 weeks next weekend, and we have a really busy week next week. I knew that I’d have to suck it up and get it over with this week, and quickly decided that today (a Friday) would be the day. Even though my doctor’s office doesn’t require fasting before the test (you just can’t have anything to eat/drink after you take the glucose drink), I figured I wouldn’t take any chances, choosing to drink the stuff on an empty stomach first thing in the morning.

And I’ll tell you, I’ve been dreading it. Dreading it. So much so that my husband said he’d stick around a few extra minutes before he left for work so he could “hold my hand” (figuratively, not literally) while I drank it. He got it all ready for me while I got dressed, pouring it into a glass for me. Hesitantly, I came out from the bedroom to get started. Once you take the first sip, you have to finish the entire drink within five minutes.

This is me, pretending to be happy about this whole situation. That’s a nervous smile, folks.

And then, I took my first sip.

OH MY GOD, people. It’s not even BAD.

Call me crazy. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a sweet tooth all my life. Or perhaps all those beer pong and flip cup games in college prepared me for chugging down stuff I didn’t necessarily want to drink. (I know my mom is extremely proud right now, HA.) But seriously… the sugary orange concoction? NOT A BIG DEAL. As is true with many things in life, I got myself all worked up because of the hype, and the hype turned out to be just that–hype.

While it’s certainly not something I would choose to drink, it went down pretty easily. It actually reminded me of those gallons of fruit drinks that we used to have during the summer as kids. Not KoolAid, but the pre-made, store-bought gallons that came in fruit punch, orange, and grape. I think they even served that stuff to us at Vacation Bible School.

About two minutes after I started drinking, I felt the baby start to practice somersaults in there. Pretty sure he/she enjoyed the sudden sugar rush.

After finishing the drink, I finished getting ready for work, packed up some cereal for myself to have at work after the blood draw, then headed to the lab. I waited around with the lab tech until it had been EXACTLY one hour since I had started the drink (Started: 7:57 a.m. Blood draw: 8:57 a.m.). A few vials of blood (which, if you’re pregnant, you’re completely used to by 27 weeks), and BOOM… done.

Now, let’s just hope my results come back OK. If I have to give up carbs, I’m going to be pissed.