This “bonus” pregnancy post is brought to you by: My raging impatience.
I am 38 weeks, 5 days pregnant. I know that I have absolutely no right to be impatient. 40+ weeks? OK. But right now? No. I mean, I didn’t even have Nora until 39 weeks, so what is my problem?
Well, with Nora, I remember having a sense of peace at the end. Of course I wanted her to come out, and I was uncomfortable and feeling done and all of that. But I wrote about having this feeling that the baby would come out when she should, and I was relatively OK with not really knowing when that was. My mom had work travel planned, but I had faith that the baby would arrive when she was around. I just believed that it would work out.
And guess what? It did.
This time, I’m not as confident. I suppose it is because the timing worked out so well with Nora’s birth, that I think it couldn’t possibly happen that way twice. So I’m struggling here, with keeping the faith, and maintaining my patience.
My mom is traveling for work this week, Wednesday to Friday. And then she leaves next Monday (the day before my due date) for the ENTIRE WEEK. So basically, if this baby doesn’t come on Monday, Tuesday, Saturday or Sunday, my mom is not going to be around. Which is obviously not the end of the world, but it definitely sucks.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Thursday morning last week. (STATE OF CERVIX COMING AT YOU, LA LA LA LA… I GAVE WARNING!) I was 1 cm dilated (up from 1/2 cm the two weeks prior), and she went ahead and stripped my membranes. Unfortunately, stripping membranes doesn’t do anything unless your body is already on its way on its own, and well, apparently mine wasn’t ready yet. I had cramping the entire day on Thursday so I had high hopes for the following 24-48 hours, but nope. I especially had hope since I had my membranes stripped with Nora on a Thursday morning, and then I went into labor on Friday night. But not this time.
In fact, I’m feeling a whole lot of nothing these days. No signs of impending labor. I know it can come out of nowhere at any time, but I’m just… not feeling it. With Nora, I feel like I had all of these instincts and “premonition” feelings kicking in, but this time, all of that is either broken, or this baby is not coming any time soon.
Don’t get me wrong: All I want out of this whole thing is a healthy baby. That is top priority. The timing—and how convenient it is for me—is, in the grand scheme of things, unimportant.
But I do want my mom to be able to be there. I hope that isn’t too much to ask.
11 Responses to 38.75 Weeks: Keeping the Faith
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About
I'm Heather. I'm 33 and have been married to Michael for seven years. Together, we have two beautiful little girls we love more than anything, and a miniature dachshund who drives us crazy. I'm a full-time working mom who has very little time for my own "stuff" these days, like home improvement, cooking/baking, cake decorating, and photography. Despite the team not making the playoffs since 1999, I'm STILL a Buffalo Bills fan, which I think speaks to my loyalty AND sense of humor. I can't wait to pick up the pace with travel again some day... you know, when we're done being ruled by tiny fists. Welcome to my blog.
http://dearbabyblog.com/post/4718750068/a-candid-list-of-things-to-do-in-the-last-weeks-of
This might help a little. Maybe will help take your mind off things for a little while? Give extra snuggles to little Nora and maybe just focus on her? Spend time playing with her and reading her her favorite books and take a video of the three of you together. :)
You’re so close. It’s hard to be patient. It’s all about redirection at this point :)
Thanks for the list. Unfortunately, I’ve already done most of those things (I guess I’m an overachiever, haha)!
We had a great weekend with Nora with lots of “make sure we cherish this” doting on her. Lots of extra snuggles and hugs and kisses, and accommodating her requests for me to hold/carry her, even though my back and belly were screaming otherwise.
That’s why the end of this pregnancy is so weird. On the one hand, I don’t mind having the extra time with my girl. On the other, I am just like GET OUT NOW. It’s an emotional and mental rollercoaster.
Has your dr discussed induction? I have a friend that was recently induced early because she was just DOE (sounds like you know the feeling) It might be a good option to have your mom there, and w my friend, they were additionally ok w inducing because #1 came a wk early.
The only time my doctor mentioned induction was a few weeks back when we were talking about my fast labor with Nora and how I was feeling a little scared that I would be birthing baby #2 on the side of the road somewhere. She sort of passively said, “Well, you know, if you get toward the end and haven’t gone on your own yet, we can talk about inducing you, just to make sure you’re at the hospital.” I was kinda like “Nahhhh” and we haven’t discussed it since.
Honestly, I’m READY, and I’m pretty freaking desperate, but I’m not THAT desperate. I still would like to avoid induction unless it is medically necessary.
In my defense, I picked a really late birthday in the baby pool so keep on hanging on! :)
Plus, a golfer just left the tournament when he was in the lead because his wife went into labor – I have a feeling your mom will try to get home ASAP as soon as she hears the news (my dad travels for work and he would definitely do the same)
You can do it. Just think of every extra hour as a bit longer for baby #2 to get ready to meet you and Michael and Nora!
Actually, my mom’s work travel is completely inflexible. She won’t be able to come home early.
I totally understand everything you are saying! My second was born at 40w3d after my first was born at 38 weeks. I assumed he would be early like my first and the waiting/unknown seriously almost did me in. I was a basketcase. My doctor kept telling me that stress and worry actually releases a hormone that can prevent labor from starting and refused to induce, telling me to just ‘watch a movie and relax’. Ha! In the end, I planned to start my maternity leave a couple days early and catch up on some freezer cooking, get a pedicure, take a nap or two, etc. to take my mind off everything. I didn’t even get a chance to do any of it because I went into labor that morning. There may be something to be said for the distraction thing….
My son was born 1.5 weeks late, and that was after being induced so I totally get the frustration. And that even took about two days in the hospital for the entire process, so not fun. And while I know you are so grateful, do try and think of how many women would love to be in your position. I sadly have two very close friends who delivered at 25 and 28 weeks and would have given their life to be where you are. Again, I am not saying you AREN’T thankful, but I know thinking of my two friends, and the many other women who actually would have loved to be 41.5 weeks preggo, that made me think about it differently. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I honestly just know that helped me not be too angry and annoyed I was STILL pregnant at 41 weeks and I wasn’t even dilated at all.
“Dear Baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing seemed just right.
But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
Of God.
For now I know
You will not come
Until the One who holds eternity
Rustles your soft cocoon
And whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.”
“Now it’s time.”
-by Robin Jones Gunn
— I read this the other day and thought it was beautiful. The universe and baby are in control. Your sweet babe will choose his/her birthday soon. :-) (((HUGS))) Lots of love,light, and thoughts heading your way. — Jenn
Oh, Jenn! I am a ball of uncontrollable emotions right now (seriously started crying at work for absolutely no reason), and this is too much! Beautiful, but too much. :) Thanks for sharing, though. I know it’s true!
My mother lives in Israel and I was having Abigail here in London. She booked her flight to get here two days before my due date and was tense for about a month about potentially missing the birth. She got here on the 15th August in the morning, we had the day together and I went into labour that night! I think things just have a habit of working themselves out. But then I am an optimist!