Baby Bully

Is it possible for babies to be bullies? Because, uh… Vivienne sometimes acts like one when she’s around other babies. Or puppies.

In general, Vivienne is a very “vocal,” strong-willed baby. She’s always been the type to let us know when she wants or needs something. And as she’s grown, we’ve noticed that she doesn’t really take any crap from anybody—Nora included. She’ll wrestle herself into any situation. She pushes our hands away if we try to wipe her face, fix her hair, check out her teeth. If Nora takes a toy away from her, she’ll “fight” to get it back. She’s tough. She’s feisty. But none of these characteristics are bad. I think they’re quite normal, actually.

But there is something that Vivienne does that I’ve never seen another baby do. She attacks other babies.

I use “attack” loosely, because, well—she’s only 11 months old. I don’t think she’s legitimately attacking anyone. But it’s sort of the best way to describe what it is that she does. Our most frequent victim? My niece, Sadie, who is just 2.5 months younger than Viv. Even when they were smaller (back during the winter, for instance), I can remember Vivienne lunging at Sadie if they were close together. Vivienne grabs her head or the sides of her face and tries to mouth her—it looks like open-mouthed kisses, or even biting. It used to be cute, but now that Vivi actually DOES have teeth, I’m afraid that she might actually hurt her. And now, it’s accompanied by high-pitched screeching. Vivienne almost appears angry—or at least agitated—when she does all of this, and it’s one of those moments where I really wish I could read her mind! What is she thinking? What is she doing? we all wonder.

She does this to small animals, too. Tessa is sometimes the victim, although a lot of times, Vivienne is actually quite gentle with her. So much so that Tessa actually purposely lies down in front of Viv sometimes, simply because she likes the attention. But other times, Vivienne will grab at her skin/fur, and then “mouth” her, too. And again, sometimes she’s pretty vocal about it!

Vivienne and Sadie have been capable of hanging out together, peacefully. But there are definitely small stretches of time when Viv just can’t seem to leave Sadie alone. On Saturday, my mom was babysitting Sadie and brought her over for a bit. We had them on the floor, facing each other, and Vivienne started screeching and leaning over to grab Sadie, putting her mouth on the top of her head. We kept pulling her back and then she’d go for her again.

We wondered if she was jealous.
Territorial.
Curious. (Who is this/what is this thing in front of me, that is just my size??)
Playful.
Angry.
Or just a baby bully.

But seriously, she’s been doing this off and on since she was probably six months old. To me, that’s far too young for a baby to actually understand what she is doing—so it’s hard for me to believe that Vivienne would be purposely attacking her. I mean… right??

Has anyone ever seen a baby exhibit this sort of behavior before? I assume they grow out of it? I did some Googling and found some information/thoughts about this behavior simply being an extension of them learning about their surroundings. That we should reinforce “gentle” touch, and remove her from the situation if she doesn’t easily back down. Any other tips from fellow parents, child development folks, teachers, etc.?

Our trip to the Poconos is coming up, and Vivienne will have plenty of quality time to get used to Sadie. I hope she eventually learns that although Sadie appreciates the “love,” she may not always like to have her personal space invaded like that. I want them to grow up together, playing sweetly, sharing toys and laughs, and trading secrets.

In the meantime, I’ll be hoping my sweet Vivienne isn’t going to become that girl on the playground who knocks kids down and steals their lunch money.