Sean at One Month

Dear Sean,

First and foremost—it’s no secret that Daddy and I were on the fence for a while about a third child. It was a drawn-out “do we or don’t we?” debate (although deep down, I think we were always going to go for it). And although I was not a huge fan of the third pregnancy—nor the second one, for that matter—I will say this: Now that we have YOU? I’m so glad we went for it. Oh, I love you so.

You have a rather large fan club. Your daddy is another card-carrying member, obviously. And your sisters? Well, you basically have three mommies. (You’re welcome.) Nora and Vivienne adore you. They are constantly asking to hold you, kiss you, play with you. They’ve fought over you. But above all, they are actually great helpers, so it’s been fun.

Over the last month, Nora has repeatedly told me, “I can’t believe it’s a brudder, I really thought it would be another sister.” But don’t worry, because she also says, “I’m so happy I have a brudder. He’s the best brudder in the whole world. Sean is the cutest brudder in my life.” She loves you a whole lot.

Vivienne claims you as her own. She routinely says “my boy” in reference to you. She’ll actually look right at Nora sometimes when she says it, implying that you don’t at all belong to Nora—ONLY to her. To ask to hold you, she’ll say “I hold it.” Haha! She has only just very recently started saying “I hold him,” and it’s definitely not consistent. And she won’t take no for an answer, either! I can be nursing you or you can be sleeping peacefully or you may be screaming your head off and she will still say “I hold it. I hold it. I hold it.” over and over again until we oblige. She’s persistent, that one. Prepare yourself, because I’m pretty sure she’s going to boss you around as you guys grow. When she isn’t calling you “my boy,” she calls you “Baby Sean.” Always with the “Baby” in front of it. And when she sees other babies in the grocery store when we go, she’ll say “TWO BABY SEANS!” in reference to you and the other baby. It’s cute.

But bringing you home and into our family has been a dream. A breeze. Totally natural. Daddy and I are sometimes a little overwhelmed at having another human being to care for, but typically, it’s your sisters driving us crazy at this stage—not you. You’re the simple one. Eat, sleep, poop, snuggle. That’s really all that’s needed to keep you happy these days.

I’m still kind of amazed I have a son. I was very comfortable with the idea of a third girl, but out you came, ready to give me a new adventure. It was love at first sight, you know. And now I can’t imagine it any other way.

I can’t believe how much you’ve grown already. I mean, I can—since I’ve done this before—but it’s still so hard to see your precious, teeny tiny baby grow so quickly! Your newborn clothes are getting small, but you’re still swimming in 3-month sizes, so I’ll keep living in denial for a bit longer and stuff you into the newborn things. :) I know it won’t be long, though!

When Vivienne was a newborn, I wrote about the bittersweet feelings over her being our (probable) last child. Now, I’m feeling all of that again, but for real this time. Because you are the last, completing our family—not because you’re a boy, but because you’re a third child. We are blessed, and we know it. We’re looking forward to watching you and your sisters grow up together. The future looks bright. But as much as I look ahead, I also am just savoring it all. Seriously savoring it. So much so that I extended my maternity leave.

With Nora and Vivienne, I “only” took 12 weeks off of work. Although I know it’s more than a lot of people get, it still was never enough. This time, 12 weeks off would have put me back at work on August 8, but I’m not going back until September 1. I am so excited. It was something I had considered before you were born—extending leave through the end of the summer, because of the nice timing—but we had decided we would evaluate later, depending on your actual birthdate, finances, and such. And although not receiving a paycheck is not fun, I knew shortly after you were born that I wanted to do whatever we needed to do to extend the leave. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. This is the last time I will have the opportunity to do this. And not only will it give me extra time with you, but some extra time with your sisters as well. Above all, I knew I would never regret it.

For this first month, your sisters’ schedules have remained status quo, which has been nice because it has meant that you and I have had a good deal of quiet time together. Nora still goes to school in the mornings, obviously, although now she gets to take the bus home to me every day instead of only twice a week. Vivienne has continued going to Mary’s. But in a few more days, when school lets out for the summer, we’ll be adjusting a bit. Nora and Vivienne with both go to Mary’s, but only three days a week. It will be beneficial to them to get out of the house, spend time with friends, keep some semblance of normalcy, etc., and nice for you and I to have the bonding time just the two of us. On the other two days, I’ll have all three of you with me. You’ll undoubtedly be carted all over the place as I try to keep your sisters busy on those days. You’ve already been very well traveled during this last month—since I’m room mom for Nora’s class, I’ve had you at her school more times than I can count! It’s been really busy with all of the end-of-the-year activities. You garner a lot of attention every time we go in, from teachers, staff, AND students. Because you’re so tiny, but also because you’re (usually) so good!

You have a pretty easy temperament so far. You typically only cry if you’re hungry (which is often) or if you’re really uncomfortable (gassy sometimes, which seems within normal “range” for your age). The funny thing is that you will go from content to FREAKING OUT in about five seconds. Once you decide you want to eat, you want to eat NOW. Which would be fine for a first baby, but unfortunately, as a third, you sometimes have to wait it out for a few minutes. That sometimes means I have to listen to several minutes of really loud screaming. Still, can’t complain at all. I hope you continue to be this easygoing.

So, eating—you enjoy it. A lot. You eat more often than your sisters ever did, at least as far as I remember. There were nights during that first week at home when you ate nearly every hour. That wasn’t fun. Thankfully, you figured it out relatively quickly and TYPICALLY you only get up once or twice (more often twice) a night now. Once a night is a real treat, I’ll tell you that! You will usually cluster feed at points during the day to make up for it. During the night, you will most often wake up between 1:30-3:00, and then again between 4:00-6:00. If you make it until between 3:00-4:00 for that first wakeup, then sometimes you won’t wake up again until 6:30-7:30, which is glorious. That’s still rare at this point, though. But I know how bad it could be so I am thankful, believe me. You’re doing great. You’re only a month old!

I’m not sure what you weigh now. You won’t go to the pediatrician again until two months. At two weeks old, you were 7 lbs., 8 oz., up from your birth weight of 6 lbs., 15 oz. You were down to 6 lbs., 8 oz. when we left the hospital, and by four days old, you were back up to 6 lbs., 14 oz., so weight gain has not been an issue for you so far. You’ve got a cute little double chin going now, too. :)

You’ve developed some good nicknames, even just in the first few weeks. The aforementioned “Baby Sean,” Seanie, Buddy, Bud, and Big Guy, to name a few.

We’re all pretty obsessed with you when you’re awake (and content). You are just the cutest and I love looking into your beautiful blue-gray eyes. I think you are just beginning to start to REALLY see/focus, and I know that’ll continue improving over the next few weeks. I am anxiously awaiting those first real smiles! Your sleepy/gassy smiles are already adorable—the real thing is bound to kill me with cuteness. Your little face is so cute, I could smooch it all day long (and I do).

I will never cease to be amazed by how quickly and easily it’s possible to fall in love with your child. I’ve been lucky enough to experience it three times now, and my heart has only expanded each time. The moment you entered into the world is etched into my mind for eternity, a joy I will carry with me through all of my life.

Nora keeps saying, semi-jokingly, that she would never trade you for another brother. And hey, it’s true—you are all ours and will be forever. I love who you are already, and can’t wait to get to know you even better as you grow.

Thanks for choosing our family, Bud.

Love you always and forever,
Mommy