I’ve been pretty kind to myself with the whole “second baby syndrome” thing. I believe that for every thing a second baby doesn’t get compared to the first, the second baby also gains something.
You know… like Vivienne may not get homemade baby food, but she gets parents who are more relaxed about naps, bedtime, etc. Certainly there are advantages and disadvantages. But in the grand scheme of things, is Vivienne really going to care that I didn’t peel, chop, steam, puree, and freeze all of her fruit and veggies?
I think not.
So like I said, I’m being kind to myself. Because having two kids is harder than one. Because we are full-time working parents with a house and a yard to care for now (when Nora was a baby, we lived in a 900-square-foot condo). Because two children somehow manage to produce like THREE TIMES the laundry that only one does—I swear.
Shortly after Vivienne was born, there was a crazy coupon available for Wegmans disposable diapers. It was printable, and available for more than a month before it expired, so I printed tons of those coupons and picked up as many packages as I could. Because $1.89 for ~36 diapers? Amazing price. Our daycare provider was on board with Nora’s cloth diapers, but I could always tell it wasn’t her favorite thing to deal with. Even though we made it as easy as possible on her—just throw the diapers into the wet bag, poop and all, and we’ll take care of it—it still was not as easy as disposables. So we picked up a ton of disposable diapers, thinking that we would use them for overnight, as well as for sending to daycare. We would go back to cloth as soon as they were gone.
But all of those diapers have lasted. We STILL have like six packages, a mix of size 3s and size 4s. (Vivienne is wearing the size 3s, and probably won’t wear the 4s for a while yet.) And Viv is on her way to eight months old. Woohoo, thanks, Wegmans!
The thing is? We’ve grown pretty fond of disposable diapers. We’ve only been using the cloth on the weekends. And I’ll tell you what—even with only doing diaper laundry once a week (and only about 8-10 diapers), our washing machine is still seemingly going all.the.time. Every night of the week. And we certainly have enough evening chores on our hands without having to worry about adding stuffing cloth diapers on top of all of that.
Last weekend, Target had a good coupon available for $15 off of a $40 Up & Up purchase. We went and picked up a package of 180 diapers and a box of 800 wipes (as an aside—even when we’ve cloth diapered, we’ve still been responsible for sending disposable wipes to Mary’s). With the coupon, 5% off Cartwheel offers for both the diapers and the wipes, an extra 5% off for using my RedCard, and a $5 gift card (that I earned from a baby food promotion they had going on a couple weeks ago)… our total was only $18. Who can argue with a deal like that?
For me, cloth diapering has always been about more than the money savings. I’ve always appreciated the feeling of knowing I’m cutting down on the billions of diapers in landfills, too. But… I’m sorry Mother Earth. Convenience has won out this time around, as it has with other things (like the aforementioned store-bought baby food instead of making my own at home).
When we picked up that giant box of diapers at Target, it sparked a conversation between Michael and me. Should we even continue with the cloth diapers at all? We built up a mostly new, sizable stash (like 24 diapers?) again for Vivienne, and is it worth holding on to if we’re only cloth diapering two days a week? I mean, we’re talking about saving like eight diapers every seven days. That’s it. Sure, we could keep doing this for the next two years until she’s potty trained, then sell off the stash—which should still be in pretty excellent shape given the part-time use. Or, we could sell them now for like new prices and just be done with it.
I’m torn.
Part of me feels that using cloth diapers only two days a week is actually more hassle than it’s worth. We’re running a full wash load once a week, but only for eight diapers instead of a “full load” of 18 diapers. We have a dresser drawer dedicated solely to cloth diapers… when we are only putting a dent in it each weekend. But then I’m like, but what about the environment?? And OH BUT THEY’RE SO CUTE! (I almost died when I saw the new Audrey diaper from BumGenius the other day. Lord knows I don’t need it, though!)
What do you think, fellow cloth diaper moms? Is it worth continuing with cloth diapering part time? Or should we just throw in the towel? And if we do continue, maybe we should go ahead and sell off at least half of our stash?
Any other moms out there who cloth diapered the first child but ended up giving it up for the second? Fellow cloth diaper dropouts?!
I finished up at my old job today. I worked all the way up through yesterday—even putting in a few extra hours last night—and then went into the office this morning to tie up loose ends, pack up the contents of my desk, file stuff away, turn in my computer and keys, and say goodbye.
It is always so weird to make changes like this. It was surreal to walk out the doors for the last time. It’s sad to know that I won’t see so many friends on a daily basis anymore. The sad feelings make me question—a little bit—whether I’ve made a good decision. But then I remember that I’ve felt this way about leaving every job I’ve ever had. I’ve always made friends, and I’ve always had things about each job that I’ve liked or loved. So closing one door to open another… it’s always bittersweet.
I’m excited for change.
I’m afraid of the unknown.
I feel nostalgic about all that I’m leaving behind.
It’s a lot of feelings. So I’m glad that I now have a week to be at home, decompress, and not have to worry about old work responsibilities OR new work responsibilities at this point. My brain could use the break. I was hoping we’d have some halfway decent weather while I’m off, so I could take the girls for walks in our new double stroller…
…but alas, the weather isn’t going to get out of the 20s and 30s. So frustrating! All I wanted was like 45-55 degrees, but apparently that is still too much to ask from the last week of March/the never-ending WINTER FROM HELL.
Anyway, I made it out alive. Hopefully I can carve out some time in the next week to catch up on all.the.things… including blogging! Thanks for all of the congrats messages on my last post!
My poor, pathetic, neglected blog. :(
I have been so busy. And overwhelmed.
The day after my last post, I got a new job offer. I accepted it. The days that followed were a whirlwind of emotion and nerves and stress as I put in my notice with my current company and worked out details with the new.
I’m sad to leave where I’ve been for the past four years. I am going to miss a lot of the people I’ve worked with. It was such a great job—my favorite I’ve had so far—but a lot of things have changed in the past year or so and it isn’t the same as it once was. It’s still good, don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t desperate to get out. But I started exploring other opportunities and one came up that was too good to pass up. It’s going to be a BIG change.
I’m moving from a company with 50+ employees to a company with four employees. With that, I get a lot more responsibility since there are less people to share it with. And while business hours are still 8:30 to 5, and I’m still working full-time, this is going to be a much more mobile office environment. I’ve been told that as long as I get my work done, I can kind of come and go as I please. Unless I have meetings scheduled, there really will be no “running late” or “leaving early.” My new boss says, “I don’t care where you are at any given moment. If I need you, I’ll find you.”
That’s really appealing for a working mom of young children who often feels like she’s not adequately striking a balance.
Since I put in my notice, my workload has been insane. It would’ve been crazy anyway—it’s been a busy few weeks for my team. Most times, the last few weeks at a job are increasingly mellow, as other team members remove work from your plate as part of the transition. For me? Not so much. There’s a lot of work to go around so I think I’ll be working every minute right up until the very end. I’ve been putting in extra hours every day this week. In fact, today was a snow day—they actually closed our office!—but instead of having a fun, unexpected day off with my kids, I was trying to get a ton of work done with kids hanging on me and asking me for things. Some “snow day” that was. It would’ve been easier to be at the office!
Anyway, I’m nervous about the change, but I think that’s normal when you make a move like this. I’ve always felt this way when I’ve left jobs—sad and a little bit scared about what I’m leaving behind, but excited and anxious about what’s lying ahead.
I took a little more than a week off between jobs, so I’m looking forward to a little break. Some time to decompress after leaving my current job before starting fresh at the new. Some bonus time with my kids, and maybe even a day or two to catch up with some stuff around the house.
I’ve been wanting to blog about a lot of things; I just have so little time to do it. I really hope I can dig myself out and that blogging will become “easier” and part of my routine again. I wonder who’s still out there reading!
Onward and upward.
Dear Vivienne,
Seven months. You are officially over the “hump” of your first year.
I’m finding that each day, I’m holding you a little tighter, kissing you a little harder, and rocking you a little longer. Your babyhood is slipping through my fingers, and it is making me so sad. Don’t get me wrong—you are becoming such a wonderful little person. As you grow, we are loving the privilege of watching you develop into the person you will be. But God, I love this stage in a child’s life, and I am just not ready to see it go. You are at the age that could convince me to have 10 babies, because you’re just that cute. That fun. That happy. So I’m cherishing it, holding onto it with all of my might.
Today, I watched you on the video monitor for a solid five minutes as you put every effort you had into trying to stretch and contort your body to reach the button on the music/lights machine in your crib. You strained one way, then strained the other, then tried the first way again. You swung your arm wildly and repeatedly, just to try to push that button. You kept trying. You wouldn’t give up. (And this was when you were supposed to be napping, I’ll have you know.) I’d like to believe this is a sign of the determination you will have for the things you want in life. I can’t wait to watch you fight to achieve them.
Daddy and I joke that you are going to be our troublemaker. There’s something about you—a mischief in your eyes, in your smile—that feels wise beyond your years. You seem to already understand so much about the world around you. And it feels like some of the things you do? You’re doing them with a purpose.
The biggest development this month was probably the official introduction of food. We gave you a few tastes toward the end of last month, fed you a couple of times. But then we got kind of lazy about it, only trying to feed you solids sporadically. Next thing we knew, you were a few weeks past your six-month “birthday” and we were like, Oops. Guess we should probably really start feeding her now, huh? (Second child syndrome at its finest.)
Now, you are eating solids twice a day. We’re still too lazy to work it into our already hectic morning routine—but don’t worry, THAT isn’t new. We never fed Nora baby food in the mornings, either. :) You’ve tried a host of things already. You definitely like fruit better than vegetables or meats, but so far, you’ve tolerated all of it. You’re still learning the mechanics of eating. Most spoonfuls into your mouth end up with half of it coming back out, dribbling down your chin. It makes feeding you interesting, and takes twice as long. If I had my way, I probably would just exclusively breastfeed you until you can feed yourself, but alas… you seem to like the food, so I guess we better keep at it. :)
You blow raspberries A LOT. If someone is in your vicinity at the time, they can count on getting a shower! You are a busy bee. You like to play with all of your toys. If you don’t have something in your hands at all times, you’re looking for something to grab.
You’re starting to notice when you’re alone. If we put you down and leave the room, you fuss a lot of times. Mary tells me it’s the same at her house; apparently you get angry if she’s not within your sight at all times. I know from going through this with Nora that it is a normal developmental thing… but it makes our lives a little more challenging at the moment!
We had a quick doctor’s appointment on Friday to get your six month vaccinations (we were all sick with the stomach bug at your actual six month appointment, so we held off), and she checked your gums while we were there. She said you’re not even close to teething. I guess you will sprout teeth late, just like your big sister! Nora was 10 months old before she got her first tooth. TOTALLY fine with me, by the way. It makes our nursing relationship a lot… less painful. :)
Speaking of less pain… we’ve started cutting back on your reflux meds a bit, inching your dose down. I’ve also started cheating more with my dairy free diet. So far, so good, I think. No dramatic changes to what we’ve been seeing these last few months, so I’m hoping we’re winding down with those problems. As far as I understand, the problem usually gets a lot better once a baby can sit independently, and you’re still working on that. Getting there, though!
Sleep is pretty good these days. You do have the tendency to wake up in the middle of the night or incredibly early many (most?) nights. I haven’t kept track, but maybe 50-70% of the time? You will wake up squawking or whining, most often between 3-4 a.m. I’m not sure what wakes you up, but it happens a lot. Typically, it takes one, MAYBE two trips into your room to give you your pacifier back (I will be SO happy when your coordination improves so that you are able to do that consistently by yourself!) and turn your soother back on. Sometimes, I think it takes you a while to fall back to sleep, but you usually stay pretty quiet so Daddy and I can get some sleep, at least! So, still not consistently sleeping through the night, but we can’t complain too much since you’re not too demanding about it.
You love your big sister and your big sister loves you. Nora routinely says to you, completely on her own, “You’re my best sissy, Vivienne!” She gives you random hugs and kisses. When you do something new (or even if it’s not new), she’ll sometimes tell you, “I’m so proud of you!” which is pretty much the most adorable thing ever. But don’t worry, she also makes sure to remind you that she’s bigger than you, and that you’re too little to do certain things. She’s not perfect, you know. :) Today, I was taking some video to mark your seventh month and I turned the camera onto Nora, who was overseeing the whole thing. I said, “And there’s your sister, who can be a little bossy.” Nora chimed in, “I not bossy! I just telling her what she can’t do!” HAHAHA. I got a glimpse into your future, and well, I’m sorry. But I promise, there is so much to love about her, too. I know you already know that, though. I can’t wait to see what you two are like together as you grow up.
So, we’re seven months in. You’re as amazing as I dreamed you’d be. And life is good—better because you’re in it.
I am so thankful.
With all my love,
Mommy
“I don’t want you to be mad,” she pleads.
We don’t even have to yell. Nora breaks down any and every time we have even a hint of firmness in our voices.
I’ve noticed lately that she is seemingly becoming very in tune with her emotions. Happiness, sadness, goofiness, annoyance, anger, fear, love… she’s letting all of them wash over her. She feels them. But she’s still learning how to properly deal with them.
She cries a lot. She yells a lot. But in doing so, she also expresses her feelings—in words—very clearly.
“I’m crying because I’m tired,” she explains.
She scolds us: “I am mad because you’re not being very nice!”
“I’m sad because I’m going to miss you,” she sobs.
In response to all of this—particularly her anger—we’ve tried to use words to explain to her what is unacceptable about her behavior. “Nora, I’m getting angry because you’re being rude” or “You’re not being a good listener.”
This makes her even more mad. “DON’T CALL ME RUDE!” she freaks out. “I DON’T LIKE YOU TO CALL ME RUDE!” Lately, it keeps escalating until we finally DO get really mad at her, at which point she cries and whines and becomes super apologetic.
Vicious cycle. She’s just so… sensitive.
That’s the thing, though. For every time she flies off the handle with a “negative” emotion, there’s another time that she expresses such strong positive feelings. She tells us—and Vivienne—all of the time how much she loves us. She’ll randomly say, “You’re my best sister, Vivienne” and give her a kiss.
When we were skiing last weekend, she periodically belted out “This is FUN!” as we glided down the hill. And when I picked her up from Mary’s on Valentine’s Day, after they had a little party, one of the first things she said to me was, “I had so much fun at Mary’s today!”
Perhaps the most amazing thing that has come out of this emotional development is the compassion. The remorse. I have been continually in awe at some of the things that come out of her mouth, and when. It very well could be normal, but her thoughtfulness seems almost adult at times.
We get into our share of arguments. I mean, she’s three; it comes with the territory. Sometimes, in the middle of all of it, she’ll “give in” and cry, “I want a hug” or “I want a kiss.” She wants that reassurance that we still love her. She craves that affection.
But it is her apologies that really get me. She will apologize—completely on her own—for things that she has done, hours after the “incident” occurred. Sometimes it’s even for really minor things. There was one night this past week when she gave us a difficult time at dinner. She was being a brat about what we were eating, but we remained firm and ultimately, things worked out and she ate a decent dinner. For Michael and me? It ended there. Later, after Michael had put her to bed and left her room, I went to kiss her and tuck her in after putting Vivienne down. When I opened her door, I saw her sitting up in bed in the dark.
As soon as she saw me, she said, “Mommy, I’m sorry for being naughty at dinner.”
My heart breaks into a million pieces when she does this. Because Michael and I? We were totally over it. Had been for a while. But Nora seems to hold onto things a bit longer. She mulls them over. It stays with her for hours, until she feels compelled to apologize about it.
Is this normal? I wonder sometimes. I feel like it’s a wonderful quality to have—to be so concerned about the feelings of others—but I also worry a little bit about her carrying her emotions around like that. Like baggage.
For what it’s worth, she also knows how to push buttons. In becoming better in tune with emotions—her own and those of others—she’s also learning how to manipulate them a bit. In the past week or so, she’s started with this thing where I’ll “correct” a behavior with a stern voice and she’ll say, “Mommy, you not love me anymore because I not listening.” WHAT?! It’s like she jumps from zero to sixty, with nothing in between. Because yeah, I’d really stop loving her because she won’t put her coat on. What the heck? Where do they learn this stuff??
Anyway, the mood swings going on around here are ridiculous.
Before Christmas, I posted a story on my personal Facebook page about Nora being defiant—and dramatic. One of my friends who has a daughter just a few months older than Nora commented, “I just told my husband that Myra is acting like she has her period!”
YES. THAT.
The teen years are going to be oodles of fun.
About
I'm Heather. I'm 33 and have been married to Michael for seven years. Together, we have two beautiful little girls we love more than anything, and a miniature dachshund who drives us crazy. I'm a full-time working mom who has very little time for my own "stuff" these days, like home improvement, cooking/baking, cake decorating, and photography. Despite the team not making the playoffs since 1999, I'm STILL a Buffalo Bills fan, which I think speaks to my loyalty AND sense of humor. I can't wait to pick up the pace with travel again some day... you know, when we're done being ruled by tiny fists. Welcome to my blog.
