I’m afraid we’ve created a monster.
We’ve had pretty great weather this week. Every night after work, we’ve taken Nora outside to play. The only problem (if you can call it that) is that she LOVES it–a little too much, maybe. The minute we get home, she’s whining/reaching for the door/begging to go outside. We happily oblige, but sometimes it’s necessary to–I don’t know–drop our things off in the house, change our clothes, get dinner started, or pee. God forbid!
It’s tough to teach an 18 month old patience, especially when they can’t comprehend reason.
Anyway. A couple of nights ago, I finally put away the iPhone and got the real camera out. I also unburied my 50mm f/1.8 lens, which–although my favorite–I haven’t used in quite some time. I chased Nora around in the front and back yards, trying desperately to get some good photos of our girl. And then, I edited them! I took a night off from kitchen stuff to enjoy playing around with pics. The results are the photos here in this post. Not perfect (hello, limb chops!), but it was the best I could do with a fixed lens and a never-stops-moving toddler.
This little one enjoys being outside so much that she doesn’t even want to sleep. Or bathe. Last night, she threw an absolute FIT when I took her shoes off, took her upstairs, and gave her a quick bath. She normally loves baths, so it was a different experience to have her screaming and fighting me (I even had to call in reinforcements–Michael!) the whole time.
{Reaching for a ball that Daddy threw way up into the sky}
We didn’t move into our house until mid-August of last year, and at that point, we were in a mad rush of house projects to make the place liveable. We didn’t have much time to be outdoors, and even when we did, it was tough because Nora was not yet walking, but didn’t like to be in the grass for extended periods of time. So, this will be our first time to really take advantage of the benefits of having a house. With a yard. And a fence. And a driveway.
{Waving bye-bye to Daddy}
We have big plans for a spring and summer filled with cars/bikes, balls, bubbles, slides, swings, chalk, and a baby pool. And (hopefully) eating things straight out of our soon-to-be little backyard garden.
Yesterday, as I drove home after picking up Nora from daycare, I glanced in the back seat to see her SLEEPING, wisps of her hair gently moving in the breeze flowing in through my half-open window. It’s only a 10-minute drive from daycare to our house, which is never enough time for her to fall asleep anymore. The last time that happened? Last summer.
I asked Mary whether Nora had actually napped yesterday, and she said that she did, but only for 45 minutes. She had been furious with Mary when she brought her inside to nap, and when she woke up, all she wanted to do was go back out.
We have an outdoor-loving girl.
And it is still only March. We have 7+ months ahead of us to enjoy the great outdoors.
I can’t wait to see how our adventures unfold.
Well, I’m back.
After being showered with comments, tweets, and e-mails from so many of you–saying such nice, supportive things–I didn’t feel like I could stay away for long. Because honestly, how could I not come back to say thank you?
Many of you were thanking me. But thank you.
Each and every one of you made a point to say that I shouldn’t let negativity win. I shouldn’t give in to the one person who chose to try to knock me down when there are so many others who want to do nothing but lift me up. Of course, you’re all absolutely right, and deep down, I knew that from the beginning. It was just a perfect storm of emotions and insecurities and hateful words that led to an extreme reaction.
Brushing off the haters is so much easier said than done. But I’ll keep on keepin’ on.
As the comments kept coming in–blowing up my phone–I read every single one. And you guys, it was overwhelming. You are unbelievable. So many of you said that I had actually helped you. Through wedding projects and pregnancy and parenting and dinner planning. Through photography and home renovations.
I had honestly never viewed myself or my blog in that way. I never really thought about readers actually learning anything here. (I was shocked, however, that no one mentioned they had learned that you could break your ass during childbirth. Come on, you heard it here first, folks. Was that not an important lesson? But I digress.)
Many of you also said that when you come here, you feel like you are checking in on a friend. That means more to me than you know. And it’s funny, because so many of you felt that you would come off as “creepy” for saying so. But the thing is, I know exactly what you’re saying, because I’ve grown attached to other blogs and their authors in the same way. All of the things you were saying? I’ve said those things to a couple of bloggers myself. So I get it. I really do. I just never imagined someone would say those things to me.
Just know that I’m thankful–so very thankful–for everyone who took the time to leave me such thoughtful notes and words of wisdom.
And as of right now, I’m not going anywhere.
There have been many occasions during which I have entertained thoughts of giving up this blog–or, more accurately, making it private. After all, I never set out to become an actual “blogger.”
I started a blog in 2007 about my wedding projects, never expecting anyone to ever READ the thing. I directed people to it when they wanted instructions for painted aisle runners or DIY pocketfold invitations. But people came, and then they… stayed. Naturally, I started infusing pieces of my life into my writing as well. It wasn’t just about the wedding planning anymore–the blog was about my life. At that time, I just so happened to be a bride-to-be. And then I was married, and wasn’t sure what form the blog would take.
It became Heather Drive–and the hobbies I shared became cooking, baking, decorating cakes, and photography. I got pregnant, and it only seemed natural to share that experience, and then lean on the community I (somehow!) built as I waded through the first year of motherhood.
For the most part, blogging has been a wonderful thing for me. Even as readership has grown, and comments come in, and Facebook “fans” sign on–I always try to take a step back in order to not lose sight of why I have chosen to do this.
It is, in large part, a journal. Sure, it’s not as intimate as it would be if it were read only by me, but the main reason for blogging–the reason I have continuously pushed myself to keep writing, even when it seems like I don’t possibly have the time–is to document my life for myself. For my husband. For my kids (someday). Michael and I like to go back and look at old posts. See the specifics about where we ate and what we saw on our honeymoon. Recollect what my pregnant belly looked like at 28 weeks. Look back and see what Nora was up to at three months old.
As much as I love all most of you, and the help, guidance, encouragement, and friendship you have offered through your comments over the years–let’s make no mistake that the primary reason I have this here blog is for me. Of course, I feel a little pressure to post things that I think others will enjoy reading, but I try not to let that dictate how and what I write. Some posts garner feedback through comments. Others don’t. I’m OK with that.
Occasionally, I post something controversial–about breaking Tom Brady’s knees, or hating Twilight, or abortion, or (gasp!) politics. And with those posts come heated comments. Some are seething, but most are respectful, just posted in disagreement with me. In those cases, discussing those topics, it is expected–and welcomed!–for people to disagree with me. Although it’s rare for it to happen, I’ve even tolerated some blatant criticism of who I am as a person. I’ve never contemplated giving up my blog for comments like those.
So imagine my surprise with myself, then, as I am actually considering abandoning ship over Snooki. Freaking Snooki, you guys.
When I reposted that stupid Snooki joke last week, it was literally a split second decision. I saw it on Facebook and almost reposted it there, but since it had been shared so many times in my feed, I figured I’d throw it up over here instead. It made me laugh out loud for a moment in the middle of a difficult week, so I thought it might cause the same reaction for some of you readers. It wasn’t something I put a lot of thought into, wasn’t something that I anticipated would ignite discussion (and it didn’t–at least not at the time).
But then I woke up this morning to a nasty comment on the Snooki post. Not only did this person disagree with the joke–they compared Snooki’s fame and subsequent (presumed, mind you) placement of her baby in the public spotlight to my sharing photos of and stories about my daughter on this blog.
Well, hell. Someone was out to hit where it hurt.
Of course, all of this was posted under “anonymous” (isn’t it always?) and I have no idea who it is. Is it someone I know in real life? Is it a regular commenter that I “know”? Or is it someone who has (until now) sat silent, quietly judging me, waiting for the right moment to strike?
Regardless, I have to admit that this comment makes me feel uneasy. I would be lying if I said I haven’t gone into the setup of this blog and changed it to “private” three times since this morning. Every time, I’ve canceled the changes, not wanting to make rash decisions.
But, I’m thinking. I’m thinking about why I do this. Do the pros of keeping the blog public outweigh the cons? I appreciate all of the readers and comments I’ve had over the years, and I’ve found value in all of it. But I am definitely sensitive to the fact that it’s not just about me anymore. I have a family to be mindful of. I share a few photos every couple of weeks. There might be a post here or there focusing on Nora–but usually, those relate to my parenting of her, and are done in a way that I don’t think could ever be accused of “airing it all out” so that it would be embarrassing to her in the future.
I thought I was striking a good balance between what to share and what to keep private–but perhaps I need to reconsider altogether.
We had our first little taste of spring yesterday, with 60-degree weather. When we got home from work, we spent some time playing with Nora outside, which was so refreshing. And girlfriend LOVED IT, so I think we will be spending a lot of time outdoors in the coming months. I cannot wait for that.
In the meantime, though, we have retreated back indoors, where we New Yorkers belong this time of year (brrrr!). But the little spring preview has me dreaming of warmer, sunnier days, and how I want to spend them.
I want to start a garden.
When I say “green thumb” in the title of this post, I mean GREEN in the sense that I am inexperienced. A newbie. I have no clue what I’m doing.
We have a fair amount of shade in our backyard (lots of trees), so I’ve been told that a garden might not fare well back there. However, I think we have a few spots that get enough sun for it to work, but I don’t know that. Because, well, how much direct sunlight do gardens NEED?
What are the best things to plant for newbies? I’d love to grow tomatoes, zucchini, bell peppers, and some other things, too. But what? And when do we plant?
How do we plant? Raised beds. Containers. Planter bags. What is a clueless girl to do?
And, how do you keep your hard work protected from little critters? We have a fenced in backyard, but we’ve still had rabbits make repeated appearances back there. They’re cute and all, but I don’t want them eating my veggies. And insects? I think I’ve read that there are some herbs you can plant that are natural insect repellants? But what do I know?
So, if you would, give me the rundown. Where do we start? What do we need? Any good resources to point me in the direction of? If you’ve had success starting your very own garden, I want to hear from you. I need to know I can pull this off.
This made me chuckle.
Disclaimer: I’ve never actually seen an episode of Jersey Shore. But unfortunately, I do know who Snooki is, and I know enough to realize that this is funny. Ha!
About
I'm Heather. I'm 33 and have been married to Michael for seven years. Together, we have two beautiful little girls we love more than anything, and a miniature dachshund who drives us crazy. I'm a full-time working mom who has very little time for my own "stuff" these days, like home improvement, cooking/baking, cake decorating, and photography. Despite the team not making the playoffs since 1999, I'm STILL a Buffalo Bills fan, which I think speaks to my loyalty AND sense of humor. I can't wait to pick up the pace with travel again some day... you know, when we're done being ruled by tiny fists. Welcome to my blog.
