I’m still here. Still pregnant.
We had a really nice five days with my dad up visiting. He came up on Wednesday afternoon, and left this morning. Every day was family, family, and more family. It was nice to have an excuse to get everyone together every day. But more on that later. I have a ton of pics.
For now, I want to share the smash cake that I made for my nephew, Bryce, who turned 1 today. My brother and sister-in-law had his big birthday bash on Saturday. Marie, asked me to make him a cake, but knowing that I was going to be nine months pregnant, she went easy on me—I was only responsible for the smash cake. :) She made cupcakes for everyone else!
The theme for the party? John Deere and/or tractors.
Marie shared a few inspiration photos, and I did some Googling of my own. And then she bought a little John Deere tractor to go on top, and my job was made even easier.
Although it was super simple, I still seriously loved this cake! The green and the yellow, the dirt… so… “boy.”
The dirt, of course, was made from pulverized Oreos that I ground up in my food processor. Everything else is just buttercream icing (with the exception of the tractor, of course).
Next up? I have to figure out what on earth I’m going to do for Nora’s 3rd birthday cake. Crazy to think about, but it’ll be here before we know it. And word from the birthday-girl-to-be is that she wants a princess party this year. SHOCKING. :)
Guess who is FULL TERM now?
This girl right here.
37 Weeks PregnantDear sweet baby Jesus. I’m so thankful to finally be at this point. Of course, I still have to wait for the baby to actually get here, which is a whole different story.
There must be something about my pregnancies and week 37, because I wrote in my 37-week post with Nora’s pregnancy that I had turned an ugly corner, and well, yep—same thing this time. I am suddenly REALLY uncomfortable and completely miserable a lot of the time. There’s just really no way around it: Being nine months pregnant is not fun, no matter how you slice it.
The good news is that my to-do list is pretty darn short now, thanks to my crazy nesting instincts the last several weeks. And my dad is on his way up for a visit, staying tomorrow through Monday morning. It’s my nephew Bryce’s first birthday weekend so he’s coming up to celebrate. I’m hoping that all of this activity will make the week go by pretty quickly, and I’ll be marking week 38 before I know it. I have high hopes for week 38 for some reason… just like I did with Nora. And lo and behold, at 38 weeks 6 days, I went into labor back then. Here’s hoping for some kind of a repeat this time around.
Late last week, at my 36-week appointment, my doctor did the swab for Group B strep and also did the first check for “progress.” In other words, people, I’m getting to the State of My Cervix here, so if you do not wish to know this level of detail CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SCROLL DOWN A LITTLE. You’ve been warned. She did a quick exam and said that I was just 0.5 centimeter dilated. With Nora, I was apparently 1 centimeter at 36 weeks. *shrug* I know it doesn’t mean anything but I don’t mind the checks because I’m curious. Inquiring minds just want to know.
My next appointment is on Thursday and my doctor is out of town so I’ll be seeing the nurse practitioner. I haven’t seen the NP since I went in on that fateful morning with what turned out to be appendicitis—which the NP insisted was a severe stomach bug. I wonder if she’ll remember that. I know she technically didn’t do anything wrong and appendicitis is easy to misdiagnose, but I’m still a little bitter about it! ANYWAY…
I was just thinking the other night about how I had yet to feel this baby have the hiccups. I know from looking back at old pregnancy posts that I felt them much earlier and more often with Nora. I thought, Weird. Maybe this baby just doesn’t have the hiccups. But then, later that very same day, I was lying on the couch after dinner, and sure enough—short, rhythmic “pops” that I was feeling on my right side. Too cute.
But I’m tired. I’m achy. I can’t breathe. I’m HOT. We’re experiencing a bit of a heat wave this week and I’m not going to lie: It sucks. I don’t want to be outdoors for longer than it takes me to walk from the house to the car or vice versa. Michael has been sweet, picking up on doing a lot of Nora things—bath, potty trips, playing, etc.—that are difficult on me right now. And Nora, well, the last two days she’s been a beast. She’s awfully close to those “Terrible Threes” I keep hearing about, so I’m scared. I just hope the crazy, irrational behavior goes in waves like it has for the Twos, with a few days to a week of unbearable crankiness and then a period of time when she’s normal again. Please God, let that be the case.
Aside from all of that, we’ve just been prepping. More clothes washing, hanging window treatments in the baby’s room, installing car seats, gathering supplies… I’d say we’re just about ready. I’ve even started transitioning a lot to others on my team at work, so we’re definitely getting close.
Now, we just need the baby.
Dear Nora,
We are only a few weeks away (at most) from having the dynamics of our little family change forever. We’re soon going to welcome your brother or sister into the world.
Three years ago, Daddy and I were eagerly anticipating your arrival. And when you finally came, you made us parents, and our lives have never been the same. Since then, you have been the one and only center of our worlds. We love you like you wouldn’t believe, and that will always be the case—but now we’re going to love someone else, too.
We’ve been doing everything we can to prepare you for the change. We talk about the baby a lot. We read books about new babies, being a big sister, and try to involve you in a lot of the preparation of the nursery, toys, clothes, names, etc. You seem to understand it all a little bit. You tell us that the baby is going to come out and play with you and Tessa. You insist you are going to help change diapers and feed the baby, that you’re going to hold him or her, and that you’re going to rock the baby to sleep.
Deep down, though, I know that you have no idea how much this is actually going to change your life. I know this because even I don’t know how much this is going to change our lives. It is so very hard to imagine having someone else in our family. Having someone else to worry about and incorporate into our daily routine. Even though we somewhat know what to expect based on our experience with you, there is still so much that seems foreign.
But I will tell you what I do know. I know that I will love you just as much as I do now—as they say, the love will multiply; not divide. I know that you will always be my baby, even when I have another. I also know that although there will be times you want your little brother or sister to go away, and there will be times that you fight like cats and dogs and drive Daddy and me crazy, that we are also giving you one of the greatest gifts that there is in life. Both Daddy and I value our relationships with our siblings, and can’t really imagine life without them. I hope that you feel that way some day, too.
This new little person will be someone who knows you your whole life. The only person who can relate to having Daddy and me as parents. He or she will be your built-in playmate; your companion in the backseat during road trips; your confidant when you get in trouble and don’t want Daddy or me to know about it.
You will teach this child so much. But you will also learn from him or her, too. I can’t wait to witness it.
In the meantime, I am doing what I can to cherish these last weeks, days, hours, and minutes with you as our only child. I’ll admit that at this point, it can be difficult to do. A lot of my focus is on willing this baby to make its way out very soon. I’m physically uncomfortable and tired. It’s hard to play with you. It’s hard to keep up with your pace. So yes, Daddy has been giving you most of your baths, and he’s been doing a lot of the playing. But I hold you a little longer. Hug you a little tighter. Listen more closely. Because I want to remember how you were during this time. Because even though I already marvel at how big you are and how much you’ve grown, I know that you’re only going to seem even bigger once we welcome someone so small.
Things are going to be different. I know it may take you time to adjust. I’ll remind myself to be patient, and I hope you’ll be patient with me, too. We’ll all be learning a new normal, after all. In so many ways, you are such a Mommy’s girl… I don’t want to lose that. I want you to know that I will always have time for you, even if I can’t be available at your every beck and call. You will always be special.
Oh, my sweet baby. My big girl. I love you to the moon and back. And I promise to never let you forget it.
With a million hugs and kisses,
Mommy
The last two weeks have been brought to you by the word “nesting.”
That get-shit-done instinct? I have it.
My life has been revolving around to-do lists. Every weekend, every toddler naptime, every evening, I’m consulting my latest to-do list (there have been several) to determine what I can tackle next. Also existing is a “to-buy” list with things we need for the nursery or the baby in order for me to feel prepared.
And that’s what all of this is about, really. My FEELINGS, because holy hell, I feel the crazy coming on. That “you-don’t-understand-I-need-to-buy-pacifiers-RIGHT-NOW-or-I-might-die” type of feeling. It’s crazy, I know it’s crazy, but I just can’t help myself. Nesting is no joke, people.
36 Weeks PregnantNot all of my nesting is even related to the baby. There are house projects that I’ve left sitting for over a year—like painting all of our bedroom and bathroom doors upstairs, or hanging and then painting bedroom closet doors—that I suddenly feel like HAVE to be done before the baby gets here.
In short, I’ve been busting my ass, and it feels fabulous. Well, except my poor aching, tired body. That part is not so fabulous. But I’m at the point where crossing things off of my to-do list feels more satisfying than lying on the couch (most days/nights). So it is what it is.
Adding to my crazy is the unpredictability of the end of a pregnancy. It was hard for me to deal with when I was pregnant with Nora, and it’s no different now. I hate (hate, HATE) not knowing whether I have one week, two weeks, FIVE weeks or whatever until this baby’s arrival. Now that I’m nearly full term, the “WHEN?!” thoughts are in the back of my mind all.of.the.time. On the one hand, I’m completely freaked out that I could have a baby next week, because hello, that is insane AND I NEED MORE TIME. On the other hand, I’m freaked out that although Nora was a week early, this baby could very well decide to be late. And the idea of being pregnant for four (or even five) more whole weeks is excruciating. I want to meet this baby.
But for now, I’m doing a decent job of distracting myself with all of the nesting. Painting, shopping, organizing, washing, decorating. I still need to work in the cleaning—you know, bathrooms and the like—but strangely the urge is not as strong for that type of activity. Go figure. :)
Enough about nesting.
I’ve been getting a lot of questions from family, friends, and coworkers about how I’m feeling at this point. The truth is that I still feel pretty good, but my body is just tired, and I’m tired of it being tired. It is hard to get down on the floor with Nora. It is hard to pick up Nora. It is hard to lean over the bathtub to wash Nora’s hair. I’m winded after climbing the stairs. It’s impossible to bend over. Comfortable sleep can be a challenge. I have to pee every time I stand up or walk around. So all of that? It makes me feel really ready to have this little bundle of joy exit from inside of my middle.
It has also been really hot and humid here for the past week to 10 days or so. The heat hasn’t been crazy—mid-80s—but the humidity is oh.so.gross. And to add insult to injury, my brother came over on the evening of July 3 and ripped out our old furnace and air conditioner. He didn’t come back to install the new one until July 5, and the installation took all day so we were without A/C for two whole days… and two whole nights. I’m not going to lie, I was kind of miserable. And a little bit bitchy at times. I don’t know how people live without air conditioning, I really don’t. ESPECIALLY pregnant people. Did I mention that the LOWS at night have been in the mid-70s? But now we have a new HVAC system (our old one was original to our house, which was built in 1973!) so it’s all good. And air conditioning is a beautiful thing. It’s supposed to cool down a little bit for the next couple of days and I’m excited to sleep with the windows open again.
On an emotional side, I’m starting to get kind of sad about our last days as a family of three. I look at Nora and I’m sad that our time is limited with her being my “only.” I feel mommy guilt over the fact that she really has no idea how much her life is going to change, and that none of us have any idea exactly when that will be. I worry that she’s going to feel jealous or left out, or even worse—abandoned by her mommy. I have a whole post I’ve been working on that touches more on all of these feelings, but it’s taking me a while to pull it together because all of these feelings are difficult to put into words.
At the same time, we’re obviously really excited to meet the baby. I can’t wait to find out if it’s a boy or a girl now. I can’t wait to cuddle with a soft, squishy, tiny newborn. And I am so looking forward to seeing my “big girl” as a big sister.
My 36-week OB appointment isn’t until Friday because of my doctor’s office schedule this week. By then it’ll have been 2.5 weeks since I’ve seen her, which seems like a long time at this point. And this will be the start of my weekly appointments, which is just… whoa. I’m going to be tested for Group B strep and will have my first internal to check on the progress of things, which again is just… whoa.
We’re getting close, friends.
In my last pregnancy update post (at 34 weeks), I mentioned how I was pretty sure we were going to pass on having maternity photos taken this time around. With my pregnancy with Nora, we DIYed them (and I was happy!) but things were decidedly more complicated this time around since we’d have a nearly-3-year-old to wrangle. We didn’t have time to be out and about, messing around with tripods, self-timers, remotes, etc.
But then I hit publish on the post, and Michael read it. He brought up the subject and told me he didn’t agree with me. He wanted to make sure we weren’t going to have any regrets. And given that this very well may be our last baby… I couldn’t help but admit that he had a point.
I reached out to the photographer we are planning to use for newborn/family photos after the birth to see if she could add on a maternity session for us. Truthfully, it was a bit more than I would’ve ideally wanted to spend, but… I’m never going to be pregnant (at the very least, not with this baby) again. So we went for it.
We were supposed to have the photos taken last Wednesday, but we were rained out. Crazy thunder and lightning and downpours. (By the way… rainiest.summer.ever.) But we gave it another go on Sunday night and we lucked out. Hot and humid, yes, but we had a little sun and NO RAIN.
We’re not expecting all of the photos to be ready for a while yet, but the photographer shared with us two sneak peeks so far:
We totally bribed Nora with fruit snacks again. She was like a puppy performing tricks! But hey, no shame!
I can’t wait to see the rest.
About
I'm Heather. I'm 33 and have been married to Michael for seven years. Together, we have two beautiful little girls we love more than anything, and a miniature dachshund who drives us crazy. I'm a full-time working mom who has very little time for my own "stuff" these days, like home improvement, cooking/baking, cake decorating, and photography. Despite the team not making the playoffs since 1999, I'm STILL a Buffalo Bills fan, which I think speaks to my loyalty AND sense of humor. I can't wait to pick up the pace with travel again some day... you know, when we're done being ruled by tiny fists. Welcome to my blog.
